Today is our son's 5th birthday. It's been a good day. Last night, I took back some unopened chips and drinks that we had left over from his birthday party on Saturday. A month ago, I would have just kept them, but now, every penny counts. When I took them back, a young man who worked there looked at me and snidley snickered. It was kind of humiliating. But, I am proud to say I didn't rip his head off and stuff it up his huge butt. I just calmly stood there and tried to ignore him. He may have to go through something like this some day. He eventually walked away, and the cashier sweetly processed the return and gave me the money back. I used that $10 to buy my son's birthday gift. On Saturday, when we went to pick up his cake and balloons, he spotted a truck on the top shelf of the chip isle. He said, "Mommy, can I have that?" It was $8. I said, "Sweetie, I'll come back and get it. OK?" He smiled and said, "OK, Mommy." At that point, I would have done anything to get him that $8 toy. So, last night, after he went to bed, I wrapped his little truck, put a card signed by both me and hubby on the front of it, and neatly put it on the table. He opened it this morning, and I do believe it is one of his favorite toys. He's driven it all over the house today. Luckily, I have a coupon for batteries when he wears these out.



Looking back over the past 5 years, it's amazing what all has happened within that time. Over the past 5 years, we have had a child we thought we would never be able to have. We have also went on vacations, bought cars, sold our first home and bought our dream home. We've survived cancer, suffered through surgeries, managed through medical scares, and lost two beloved grandparents and three beloved pets. We've gone to concerts, seen movies, attended parties, catered a wedding, and been in two productions of "The Living Christmas Tree". We've started attending church and volunteered to help those less fortunate. We've also had arguments, both with us and others, fought for what we thought was right, and said things that we probably should have kept to ourselves.



Looking back, I realize that we have had our share of ups and downs. We have had really great times and hard times too. And, though this time right now is really tough, we will get through this. It is hard, though, to keep thinking that when you are trying to come up with $8 to buy your son's birthday gift.

On a good note, we are seeing God's work through this. I was going through the mail that I had put off opening (mostly bills). I saw an envelope from our mortgage company that I thought was just a tax statement. Turns out, it was a check for $240! It was an overage of our escrow account. So, we can now pay our HOA dues. For this, I am very truly thankful.

What if we could be more like kids?

I've been around kids all weekend, which has been fun. We had our son's 5th birthday party yesterday and had several other 5 year olds over to our house. It was a nice break just to celebrate this wonderful little guy. And, today, we went to the park and took advantage of the 60 degree day. The park was filled with other children who were playing with their parents and grandparents. We climbed and slid and spent a wonderful afternoon together, just the three of us. Everytime I look at him, my heart just swells with joy.

Spending so much time around these children got me to thinking - what if we could be more like children? Think about it for a second. First, kids don't care what kind of job you have. A job is just something that keeps you apart for several hours a day. As long as you have time to spend with them when the day is done - that's all they care about. Second, kids are thrilled by things that adults normally get annoyed by. Our son LOVES trains. The highlight of his day is if we get stopped by a passing train. Kids also love watching garbage trucks. Seeing the garbage person take the trash and dump it in the big truck, listening to the "bam, boom, crash, and seeing the yellow siren light on top of the truck is awesome to a child. Third, kids aren't prejudiced. A child is a child, no matter what race, nationality or religion. The only rules that matter to kids are "play nice", "wait your turn", and "share your toys with others". Plus, when kids fall down or get hurt, a kiss and a hug from Mom or Dad makes it all better.

Adults can learn a lot from their children. For one, see your job as just that-a job. It is not your life. This is hard for me because I take my job very seriously. Sometimes, it's hard to "turn it off" at 5:00 pm. I need to learn how to leave work at work and focus more on my family. Also, take time to enjoy the little things, even if it means being a few minutes late for work. On the way to work Friday, my son and I got caught by a train. It was so nice just sitting there with him, just watching the train, listening to the "clickety-clack" of the rails, and wondering where the train might be headed. There were cars who zoomed past us trying to get to the short cut around the tracks, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for them, especially if they had children with them. They don't know what they are missing. And, it's important to see people for what they are-people. A person is not truly defined by their color, their nationality or their religion. They are defined by what they are in their heart.

And, when we are hurt and have fallen, it's still nice to have Mom or Dad to give you a big hug and tell you everything will be alright, even if they can't fix it.

A Nugget of Good News

I have proof that there are good people working in government. As you may have read from earlier posts, we have had such a horrible time trying to get hubby's unemployment benefits straightened out. What had happened was we filed for his unemployment on January 9th (the day he was let go) because we thought he had not been paid for that week. ADP had messed up the pay period ending date on his last paycheck, making it look like he had not been paid for that week. It took a week of investigating (and a final letter from ImagePoint) to determine that he had, in fact, been paid for that week. So, when we went to certify with Unemployment for the week 1/4-1/10, we entered his total salary for that week. I mean, that is what he was paid, so shouldn't we be honest about it? Because he earned over the maximum amount of $275, it disqualified him from benefits. We refiled per the instruction of a UI representative we saw at the Career Transition Fair, but the second refiling wouldn't go through because the first one was "stuck". We tried each day to call the state Unemployment office, but they are completely overloaded. In addition, we discovered that there is only one person in Knox County who can assist with issues, and he doesn't even work for the Unemployment division!

Well, my anger finally got the best of me. I sat down and sent an email to both State Representative Bill Dunn and State Senator Randy McNally. I emailed Dunn on Sunday and McNally on Monday (after I had not heard anything from Bill Dunn). By Tuesday, I had heard from neither one, so I called Representative Dunn's office and got in touch with his assistant. She was able to pull up the email I had sent, and assured me that she would take care of it. This angel came through! We got a call yesterday from a representative from the Department of Labor who was able to talk to hubby and certify the past two weeks, and a check should be mailed out to us today!!! WOO HOO!!!!! I couldn't believe it. This drama is finally over!!!

And, it's time to get some good news. Hubby didn't get the job he had interviewed for. So, we're back to the drawing board. There are some opportunities that he is pursuing, but we don't know much about them. But, it's not because of a lack of trying. Some "friends" have eluded to the fact that he should do more. How much more can he do?? There are NO JOBS!! What's he supposed to do? He's even tried to get part time work just to tide us over. But, because he has an education, he doesn't have a chance in getting it. He's not lazy at all. In fact, he says, "I just want to work". When these "friends" first said that, it made me really mad. This was coming from people who didn't have a clue, and they think they know EVERYTHING. But, in this case, they do not. So, I've just chalked it up to pure ignorance on their part. I am not going to argue with them about it. As hubby says, "you can't argue with a barking dog".

Let's pray that the good news keeps coming.

Things I've Learned Lately

Over the past couple of weeks, I've learned a few things that, hopefully, I will take with me after this difficult chapter in our life is complete.

1. Appreciate the small things. I don't know how religious you may be, but I've learned in recent weeks to see each event of my day as a blessing. After church last Sunday, we went to McDonalds for lunch. We had a meeting to go to at 1:00, and didn't have enough time to go home to eat. After we ordered, the counterperson gave me my total. I had just enough cash to pay for our lunch. I almost cried (I'm glad I didn't-it might have freaked out the poor kid behind the counter). Yesterday, I stopped by Starbucks for a cup of coffee. Hubby had bought me a gift card for Christmas, and I've been using it very sparingly. I got into a discussion with the drive-thru person about the brewed coffee of the day (I'm not a big fan of Pike Place). It was in the afternoon, and since that was all they had, I went ahead and ordered an Americano. When I got to the window, the guy at the drive-thru charged me for a brewed coffee, which was cheaper than the Americano. I was able to hold back my tears until I got past the drive-thru window. It was so touching. Just when I needed it, He was there.

2. Don't buy cheap oranges. I had recently discovered that I could eat oranges again. I was allergic to them as a child, but now I can eat them just fine. I usually take one to work with me. The first time I went to the grocery store after Hubby lost his job, I bought some oranges that were at a really cheap price. I could have went to Food City or Kroger and bought some, but I was trying to be as frugal as possible. The first time I went to eat one of the cheap oranges, I discovered why they were cheap. They were sour, had thick peels, and had those stringy veins that are impossible to chew. I suffered through them, one by one, until it was pay day. Needless to say, I splurged on oranges from Wal-Mart. I had one today. It's hard to appreciate decent oranges until you do without. (But, the next ones I get will be from Food City).

3. We are not alone in this. I've discovered throughout this situation that there are many people who are either going through or have gone through this same situation. Growing up, my dad worked in manufacturing and there were several times that his factory was closed due to lack of work. But, it wasn't until this happened that I've had the opportunity to talk to many people who have been kind enough to share their stories with me. One friend told me about her husband being out of work for 2 1/2 years and how they made it. Another person told me about his wife having trouble getting full time work after being laid off. Another friend told me that his wife is facing a layoff in the coming weeks. The most common thing I have heard from everyone is that God has helped them and continues to help them each day (this also goes back to item 1).

4. People truly care. I've been overwhelmed by the response of people who genuinely care about us. Many people have asked and continue to ask how we are doing. These are friends, co-workers and family who truly care about us. They also pray for hubby to be able to find something, and for us to be ok. The concern and care by the people close to us has been very touching to me, and I deeply appreciate it.

I'm sure this list will grow as the weeks go along. I'll be interested to see what other lessons are in store for us. But, for now, I'll just savor my oranges and smile.

I woke up this morning glad that it was a new day. Yesterday was a tough day, and it was nice to know that it was over.

Hubby went for the meeting yesterday morning. Turns out the only job they had to offer was the one he's already interviewed for. So, it seems at this point, there is only one programming job available in Knoxville. Could that be possible? I mean, I know that K-town isn't the Silicon Valley of the South, but really-only 1? He has also searched online job listings and the newspaper. There's nothing there! So now, there are many qualified individuals vying for one job. It's like a a hungry group of church goers going after the last fried pie at a Church Homecoming luncheon. You look at it, you look at the others who are looking at it, you size them up, "Could I get to it before they do? Can I get it? How long as it been there? Is it going to be worth it if I do get it?"

After the meeting, I went with him to see his mom. She was rushed to the Emergency Room Thursday evening and spent the night. We're hoping that she gets to go home today. She is doing much better now, but we can't help but worry about her. After the visit, hubby met with our financial guy regarding rolling over his retirement. Hubby had to go to the ImagePoint office yesterday to take his distribution form for signing. He didn't tell me much about going there, but it had to be hard. Hopefully, this will be the last time he has to go there-ever!

Hubby heeps apologizing to me for what we are going through. My heart is breaking for him. He is such a wonderful man. He loves me and my son so very much. All he has ever done is try his very best to provide for us. Right before we got married, he had earned a Bachelor's degree in Ornamental Horticulture and Landscape Design. When it became apparent that there was not viable work in that field in this area, he went back to school to get a Computer Programming degree. He did this, not for personal gain, but for both of us. When I gave birth, he never left my side. I watched him get up at 4 am each morning to drive to Chattanooga to work at TVA to try to earn a full time position in order to get good benefits for us. When I had cancer, he was my rock. He stayed with me the entire time, sleeping in the chair right beside my bed so he could be there if I needed anything. I had my cancer surgery at Baptist downtown. It was July and, if you live in Knoxville, you know what July weather is like. Super hot and super humid. He walked from Baptist Hospital all the way to downtown and back, just to get me some flowers to brighten my day. He continues to brighten my days.

This situation is not his fault at all! This was done TO him and every other ImagePoint employee. These fine people who worked there did their job. They went to work each day and put in countless hours for this company, spent many nights working to make their customers happy, spent time away from their families as they worked toward the goal of making ImagePoint the best Sign Company around. They were dedicated to this company, and the company failed them. What hurts worse is that the company heads do not seem the least bit apologetic for this. My 4 year old knows to apologize when he does something wrong. I guess when you become a Corporate Executive, you become exempt from apologies. I know that most of this is because of the economy, but a simple "we are so sorry that this had to happen" would be nice.

It's now 8:30 am, the sun is up on this, a new day - one I am definitely ready for.

Hello? Does this phone work?

It's so hard to believe that it has almost been 2 weeks since the shutdown. Hubby is still waiting to hear whether or not he got the job he interviewed for. It was a week ago today that he had his second interview. He did find out that they are still interviewing people for the job. You can't blame them. I mean, they have a plethera of applicants to choose from. It is in their best interest to interview as many qualified applicants to make sure they choose the right one. It is still hard, though, when you're waiting to hear something. Time ticks by (tick, tick, tick). You pick up the phone just to make sure it is still working . It's like a comic waiting for a laugh after just telling a bald joke at a toupee convention. It's brutal!! And I'm not the one sitting by the phone. Can you imagine what it's like for hubby?

He got the garage cleaned out enough today to park the Mustang in there. As long as we still own it, it might as well get to park in the garage, right? He's staying busy, which is helping him. I sat down to pay our bills today after I got paid. With the help we are getting from our credit union, we were able to pay our bills for this pay period. Although looking at what we owe verses what's now coming in is depressing, it also makes me feel very thankful for what we do have. I'm thankful for having compassionate people working with us and money left over after paying our bills. I'm also thankful for leftovers, which is helping stretch our food.

One concern I have is that our son's birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. We're having his birthday party here next weekend. We had decided before hubby lost his job that we would have it at our house. We just bought the house in April and finally have enough space to have his birthday here instead of renting out a space for it. He'll be 5, so we haven't reached the "got to outdo the other kids' parties" stage yet. He's so excited about his party. He helped me fill out invitations and tape them to his friends' cubbies at Preschool. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out what we are going to do. I want to make his birthday as normal as possible. I know we need to conserve our money right now. But he's a precious little guy who deserves to have a wonderful birthday just like any other child. It will also be an opportunity for us to celebrate something. We've not had anything to celebrate lately. He's our only son and we are unable to have any other children. He is our gift from God. Shouldn't we celebrate that?

Hopefully, hubby's unemployment will be straightened out and we will get his first unemployment check next week. Which reminds me-I tried calling the State Unemployment Office a few times today. Still busy. I seriously don't think their phones are working either. Also, hubby has another appointment tomorrow. I'm praying for good news (even if that news is that the reimbursement check cleared and we get our $63.00).

A funny story about a car

Most guys love cars. I know that this is not a news flash. Men love cars the same way birds love the sky, little children love puddles and my cats love to rub against my freshly washed black pants. It's a given. And, my hubby is no exception.


During our marriage, he had mentioned many times that he would like to have a Ford Mustang (along with a Ford Coupe, a boat, a garage . . .). So, you can imagine my surprise when he mentioned one day that he wanted one of the new Chevy Camaros that were coming out this year. Did I hear him right? A camaro? One thing about him, when he gets his mind set on something, it becomes an obsession. He put the picture of the car on our desktop on our computer, the wallpaper on his phone, and he even joined a computer forum with other men and women who were as excited about the car as he was. We even placed an order for one for him. It was so nice to see him so happy about something.


In the meantime, hubby found a really cool looking Mustang at Lance Cunningham Ford. On Monday the 5th, I got an email alert that Ford's sales fell 32% in December. As a joke, I emailed hubby and said, "Now might be a good time to go look at that Mustang." Which was even funnier because he had received an email from a Ford Salesperson asking him if he was still interested in buying a car. So, he went by Lance Cunningham on the way home on Monday. He got a good deal on the Mustang (a much better deal than we were getting on the Camaro). So, he bought it. We were able to get out of the Camaro order (but we lost our deposit). But, hubby had his Mustang and all was right with the world...at least for the next 3 1/2 days.


Fast forward to Friday - hubby loses his job, our income is cut in half. I thought, "Well, maybe we can take the car back". So, I called and left a message for the Finance Department at LCF. I mean, we had owned the car for 3 1/2 days. Believe me, if we had had ANY incliniation that this shut down was going to occur, there is no way we would have bought this car! What MORON would have bought a car if they knew they were losing their job? They still had our trade in, the loan was still in the very early phases of being processed. My thinking was we could return the car, get our trade (which was still in good shape), and be ok. However, my thinking and the thinking of Lance Cunningham Ford were, how you say, drastically different.


I was told that "if we let cars come back, we'll lose OUR jobs!". The Finance person I spoke with was unable and unwilling to help. He said he had talked to the General Manager, but was told by him (I believe his name is Matt) "absolutely not". I called and left a "not so nice" message for the General Manager, asking him to call me back. Needless to say, I've not heard from him and don't really expect to.


OK, here is where the story becomes like a really bad sitcom - the car wouldn't start on Friday morning! The temperature on Friday morning was 5 degrees. My 5 year old Buick with a 5 year old battery was able to start, but the brand new Ford with a new battery wouldn't turn over. Neither would it start on Saturday morning (the 17th). So, hubby boosted off the car and I took it back to LCF. I was ready for battle! They took the car and checked it out. While I waited, I thought I would walk over to the showroom and check on a payment we are due for an overestimate of our payoff for our trade-in. When I walked in, the salesmen were so nice and courteous - that is, until they heard that I had a problem. Then they scattered faster than stray cats at the sight of the Animal Control truck. I will say that the gentleman in Finance I spoke to on Saturday was very nice and apologized for what had happened. In addition, I met a really nice man who worked there named Ray. Those two men helped soften my harsh feelings toward that dealership.

And, it turns out, all they had to do was just charge the battery. It's been working fine since Saturday.

We still don't know if we will be able to keep the car or not. We are going to try. But, we are at least having fun driving it until that day comes. Driving it helps put a smile on our faces. Plus, our son loves riding in it too.