Sunday, March 15, 2009

R.I.P. Steve & Barry's

As I was folding laundry the other day, I happened to notice the tag on a pair of my shorts - Steve & Barry's. Man, I miss that store. What a wonderful concept! Everything in the store costing $7.99-shirts, pants, coats, shoes, etc. At least, that's how it started out. The first time I went to a Steve & Barry's was in Middlesboro, KY. At that time, everying in the store costed the same amount. They would run specials around Christmas time. A person could go in there and buy something for everyone on his/her Christmas list for half the price that would be spent at any other store. As stated by USA Today, this type of pricing equation should have worked in the poor economy. Was it the massive growth the company had recently experienced? Was it the taking on of big names like Sarah Jessica Parker, Amanda Bynes and Venus Williams? Or was it truly the reason of the downturn in the economy? Whatever the reason, Steve & Barry's is gone (has been for a few months now).

The economy can definitely be blamed for the closing of another store-Trixie's Western Outfitters. This little store is located on Callahan Rd. When it first opened, I thought "what an interesting location for a western store?" But, contrary to my first thoughts, the store seemed to flourish. It was one of the first stores to open up in the Yow Shopping Center, and I was happy to see it doing well. Each day, I would drive by and smile as I looked over and saw their brightly lit red and blue sign. So, you can imagine my dismay when just a few weeks ago, I saw the "Going Out Of Business" signs posted outside of Trixie's. Is this for real? Is Trixie's the next store to succumb to this economic disaster? Why her?

I stopped by there - (1) to get some saddle soap to clean my leather couch and (2) to take a look inside this little store that had made me smile so many times. As I walked around the store, I felt so sad. One sweet lady who worked there just sweetly smiled as this couple bickered on whether to buy the cowboy hat now or wait until the "prices get much lower". I found a bottle of spray soap and took it to the register. There was a gentleman at the register sporting a cowboy hat and matching moustache along with a lady working on the computer. I asked if they had any paste soap, and another lady who worked there said "sure". She kindly walked over and got me one. Tell me where else you'll get service like that-someone who knows what you are talking about, if they have it, and is willing to go get it. I paid for my soap and walked to my car with tears in my eyes, sad about what our community was losing and that that sweet sign will turn dark very soon.

How many more stores are going to have to close? How many more families' dreams are going to have to be dashed? How many more people are going to lose their jobs before this nightmare ends? When is this going to end?

I wish I could answer these questions. What I can do is clean my couch with the saddle soap I got at Trixie's, and remember the sweet little Western store and the precious people who worked there.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

One week in...all is going well

Today makes 1 week that hubby has been at his new job. He really seems to be enjoying it there. The only thing that has been hard for him is fact he is starting over from scratch. At ImagePoint, he knew his co-workers well, he knew the office dynamics, he knew where were good places to go for lunch (usually the Brewery). He had a good relationship with his supervisors and had proven to his co-workers that he knew his stuff. Now, that process is starting over again. But, he's working - and for that, we are truly thankful.

However, a part of us feels remorseful over it. Mainly because so many around us are still out of work, and many more are losing their jobs each day. There's one friend who gets turned down for jobs because she is "over-qualified". Her "over-qualification" for jobs has led to her getting evicted from her home at the end of this month. Also, I see many other middle-aged people who are out of work and having trouble finding work. It is a dire shame that these individuals are being turned away. Although age discrimination is against the law, it is practically impossible in today's job market to prove it. It is so evident that it is occurring - and it's terribly sad. These men and women have so much to give to a company. They are mature, responsible adults. Unline their younger counterparts, they have experience in their job and in life. Experience that can benefit a company in many ways. Instead, companies (who are hiring) hire young people with little or no work/life experience who may stay with them a year. Companies now have the opportunity to hire and benefit from experience and knowledge. For years, these experienced individuals have been working hard for companies (such as ImagePoint and Goody's). Now, they have been abandoned by these companies, and are desperately needing to work. These are people who will be devoted to a company and will give it their all. They have before, and they will again.

There are other friends whose spouses have recently lost their jobs. My heart breaks for them as well. When they tell me their husband or wife's company has laid them off, it hurts. I remember that fateful day in January and how it feels. I remember the helpless feeling that comes with the news. I just want to hug them and tell them everything is going to be ok - because it will.

One week down - hopefully more to go.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work he goes...

Today was hubby's first day at his new job! The little things I never really thought about before were really enjoyable today. Like packing his lunch - before, I would just pack it and set it out. Today, I took extra care while packing it, trying to make sure to pack things that might make his day go a little better.

I got an email from him after lunch. He said his day was going good, which was good to hear. It was just like old times - like life is getting back to normal.

But, with this normalcy comes guilt. Here our life is getting back to normal while others are still struggling. Hubby is now working while others are losing their jobs. We're going to get back on our feet while others are having to take jobs that may pay only half their old salary - just to get by. Others are selling prized possessions just to pay the mortgage or electric bill. I feel so deeply terrible for these men and women. With each sigh of relief I sigh, a feeling of sadness creeps in. Why us? Why are we the fortunate ones? Is our good fortune going to last?

On Sunday, the pastor at our church preached on why we should not worry or fret about finances, but trust in God. I do trust in Him. I can honestly say I have felt His presence with us during this recent struggle. For example, that first week our food bill was only $70. Also, we were able to pay our mortgage payment and get by for this past month without having to borrow money from our family. And, we didn't have to move and Hubby didn't have to take a job out of town. That way, he can be home at night to spend time with his special little guy.

My heart goes out to those who are still unemployed and those who are soon to lose their job. Like the 250 who will be let go from First Tennessee and the electrician who lost his job today. My heart also goes out to those who go to work each day worrying if they will still be employed next week, next month, or this time next year.

For now, I am thankful to be packing lunches for hubby again. I just hope he's as thankful for what I pack him.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

He Got A Job!!!

We have great news!!! Hubby was offered a job today! The job is almost identical to what he did at ImagePoint with comparable pay. And, it's here in Knoxville (believe it or not!). It is a 6 month contract-to-hire position. I can't believe it! Can it be true? Could this painful period in our life be coming to an end?


Frankly, I'm really afraid to believe it. What if, for some reason, my excitement blows it? What if, for some reason, they change their mind and decide not to fill the position after all? The company is very reputable and also very stable. So, the threat of coming to work one day to find out that the company is shutting down is very low. But, I don't think I will actually be able to fully exhale and relax until he gets through his first week.


After he called me today to give me the good news, I walked out of my office and started shouting (ok-it probably sounded like squeaking). Most everyone within earshot of me came over and were as excited as I was, which was so sweet. They have been such a support to me during this time. I also called my mom and dad. They were so excited and relieved as well. They have been very worried about us and have really hated seeing us go through this. As has hubby's sister and brother, his parents, my brother, and our sweet friends. So many people have given us words of encouragement, offered us help in many ways, and prayed for us incessantly. We have been so touched through this time.

We have seen both the good side of people and the bad. But, maybe the bad is just because of ignorance. Ignorance of how it feels to be jobless, worrying about how the bills will get paid and food will be put on the table, all while watching your loved one feeling helpless and rejected. They say that ignorance is bliss. And, maybe it's true. But, it is also very sad when people who are ignorant to situations such as ours have little or no compassion for those going through tough times such as this.

So, now what's next for us? I'm still being cautious, at least until next week. I'll breathe a little easier then. But, to celebrate, I think I'll treat myself to Starbucks in the morning. Nothing like a good Latte, huh?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Getting back to normal-sort of

I had a bit of a nice shock this past week. Hubby got his waiting week unemployment check payment along with his regular unemployment check. With that extra money, plus the blessings we've had over the past couple of weeks, we were actually able to make our February mortgage payment ON TIME!!!! I couldn't even believe it! I was prepared to call the mortgage company this next week and set up a payment arrangement. Now, we can wait to do that until March (if we have to at that time). I don't think I've ever enjoyed making a mortgage payment as much as that one.

The "Big Guy" is taking care of us just as He always has. But, he does have a pretty quirky sense of humor too. On Friday, our home computer crashed. I mean, super crash like a NASCAR type crash. Hubby was trying to download a VB.net update when-KABOOM! We didn't even get the "blue screen of death". It went straight to black. To make matters worse, he couldn't find the recovery cd to repair the computer. We have XP Professional on that computer. The only place in town that had it was OfficeMax...for $300! So, at 8:30 pm, I was driving to OfficeMax to pick up this box that, by weight, shouldn't have costed more than $10. On the way back home, Hubby called to let me know that he thought he had found the recovery cd. After I got back home, I took the box upstairs to him and came back down to check on our son, who was mysteriously quiet. When he is unusually silent in a sign of one thing-he's in trouble. He had decided to use our leather couch as a blank canvas on which to draw with a ballpoint pen! His artwork was quite spectacular. However, my anger overshadowed my appreciation for great art at that moment. Luckily, I remembered from "How Clean Is Your House" that hairspray will remove fresh ink from leather. I was able to get most of it off. Maybe, if we ever sell it, the buyer will have an appreciation for 5 year old artwork.

Our son loves watching videos of himself when he was just a baby. He gets such a kick out of watching him talking and playing. As I watch these videos, I can't help but think what happened to that time. I see our little house we had and wish we were back there. Not for financial reasons, but just because I miss that house. It was our first home. Don't get me wrong, it was small-950 square feet. It has old wooden windows that were really drafty. It has these old white curtains that came with the house (my mom HATED those curtains). It only has 1 bathroom and small closets that barely held our clothes. But, it was the first house we had ever bought. It was where we brought our son home from the hospital. It was where we had some great times and spectacular arguments. It has a huge backyard (although most of it was downhill and wooded). It had great neighbors too.

Hubby said it best today-I wonder what the future holds in store for us. Looking at those videos, back then I wouldn't have thought we would be living in the house we are in now. Nor would I have ever believed that we would be going through this tough time right now. I mean, everyone uses computers. The entire planet uses the internet. If a company doesn't have a website, they are considered obsolete. So, why is it so terribly difficult for my husband, who is great at what he does, to find work? As Christians, we are supposed to trust in God. But, the control freak in me also wants to know what to expect, what's going to happen.

I know I say this each week, but I'm hoping we get good news about a job this week. Hubby has heard about a couple of opportunities, and I'm hopeful that at least one of them pans out this week.

Monday, February 9, 2009

February 9th

February 9th is not my favorite date. Some dates are good dates - my wedding anniversary, my son's birthday, my parents' anniversary. February 9th is not one of those dates.

My maternal grandmother passed away on February 9, 2001. It was a sudden loss (she died from an aortic aneurysm), and I still miss her. I miss her wonderful biscuits that she made and her awesome chicken casserole. She also always carried around those little plastic rain bonnets that older ladies wear. After she passed away, my mother and I found those all over her apartment. Mom brought me one the other day. I put it in a drawer in my kitchen for "safe keeping". She also loved me and my brother so tremendously. I wish I could tell her now how much I appreciated that, even though I stunk at showing it.

We had to have our cat Tom put to sleep February 9, 2004. Tom was my husband's cat long before I was in the picture. He showed up on my husband's doorstep as a kitten with his little bottom jaw almost torn off. My father-in-law, along with my husband and his sister, took Tom to the vet hoping that the vet could save him. The vet successfully reattached Tom's bottom jaw, and he earned his place in that household. Tom lived 18 years when he unfortunately developed cancer. What's funny is that the very next day, hubby went to the pound and got a kitten who looked EXACTLY like Tom. His name is Charlie, and I have to say, he acts more like Tom each day.

Now, February 9th has another fateful meaning-it's been 1 month since hubby lost his job. Hubby is still jobless and is still desperately trying to get a job. Fortunately, we are doing better financially. For this, we are truly thankful. Maybe, we'll get good news today that will help make February 9th a little brighter.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Still plugging along...

It's been a few days since I blogged, and I have to say I've missed it. It's been quite a week, I have to say. Hubby has continued his search for a job, but no luck so far. Although the number of leads have increased, which for that we are thankful. And, we were able to pay our bills that are due for this pay period (I get paid every other week). For once in a couple of weeks, I can breathe a little easier.

I had a little bit of a scare on Thursday. I was at work when I started having dizzy spells. I would be sitting at my desk working when, all of a sudden, the room would start spinning. I would have to hold on to my desk chair and try not to fall out. The spells would continue for about 30 seconds then stop. Then, after about a minute or two, another one would hit. At first, I thought that it might have been an anxiety attack because I was in emotional overload when they started.

First, hubby had met with the recruiter that morning who wanted to update him that there was no update (I know-sounded crazy to us too). The recruiter, though, is a very nice man who is trying very hard to find jobs for not only hubby but others as well. Then, my dad had called me. I love my dad. He is a really wonderful man. He and I have a special bond that exists between a father and daughter. We have inside jokes that we are constantly laughing at, and I can talk to him about anything that's going on. He is really worried about us as is my mom. They love us very much, and worry that we will not ask for help if we desperately need it. So, he called to reassure me that he and mom are there for us and will help with anything. I just can't stand the thought of taking money from them. I know that is what family is for, but they have struggled for so long. They are finally getting to a point where they don't have to struggle and worry so much, and the last thing I want to be is a burden on them. They deserve some peace, and the fact that I am causing them to worry breaks my heart. So, I reassured him that I would let him know if we needed help. And, I will keep that promise to him because he has always kept his promises to me. Next, a good friend came by to give me some advice about what we could do as far as finances. He is a sweet man who genuinely cares about me, and I do appreciate it. It's just hard because I don't want to be a distraction to everyone. It was after the 3rd visit that the dizzy spells got really bad and I almost passed out.

I thought that eating lunch might help, but it didn't. I almost passed out again and had a hard time making sense when I talked to people. So, I called the doctor and got an appointment very quickly. Stupid me drove myself to the doctor. But, my thought was if it was something silly, I would have caused someone to miss work. And, it did turn out to be something silly-a double ear infection. I thought that only happened to kids!! Does that mean I'm really a kid and not a grown up? Wouldn't that be a dream?? I'm thankful that is all it was and it wasn't something more serious. But, before I found out what it was, I was scared. What if it is something serious? What will we do? I'm the only one working right now and it's important that I keep working. Plus, I've been trying to stay healthy. I've been taking vitamins, working out, eating oranges like they are going out of style. I've tried eating healthier (although I HAVE to have a chili dog every now and then). Had all of this work gone to waste?

And, I've been crying a lot more lately. It is hard for me to accept gifts and prayers. Don't get me wrong, I truly appreciate them. But, it's hard because I'm used to doing for others. We got a letter from our church letting us know that the ministerial staff are praying for us. It was signed by each one of them with little written notes from them. When I read it, I broke down. I couldn't hold it in. I saw my aunt at Wal-Mart a couple of weeks ago. I had been able to tell others about what had happened without showing too much emotion. But, for some reason, when I told her, I started to cry-right there in the produce isle. Luckily, I was able to regain my composure quickly. I feel so bad when I cry, especially if hubby sees me. He needs someone who will be strong and not gripey or fussy or emotional. He needs someone who will take care of things and deal with these problems. He doesn't need someone who will just throw her hands up and run or walk around crying all the time.

I also feel so bad when I come home and gripe about my day at work. I've had a hard couple of weeks at work, and I'm the type that just has to vent or else I'll blow up. And, I usually vent to him. But, I feel even worse when I do because I feel like I'm making him feel bad that he's not working. Here he is desperately trying to find a job and here I come in griping about the job that I'm blessed to have. It's not right for me to do this, but it's worse for me to hold it in and let it keep building up.

A sweet friend of mine gave me a free dinner for two coupon yesterday. So, hubby and I are having a date night tonight. It will be nice just to go out and have a nice time together. It will be the best date we've had in a long time.